35th Anniversary

Today would have been my 35th wedding anniversary. There is a certain amount of sadness today as I think about that milestone. There is no doubt that we would be celebrating this day in some nice way. I am proud of our marraige knowing that in spite of many ups and downs we survived and we had a good ending. I don't mean in the way it ended because it would have been so much better to have had more time but our relationship/marraige ended with both of us knowing that we still loved each other deeply and that we appreciated and respected each other. I feel privledged (even now as the tears flow) to have been able to have those last few years to express our love for each other.

I now have a new love in my life and he is loving, supportive, kind, appreciative of me, and a fun person. I have been having the most wonderful life lately. God has allowed me to have love and a relationship again. I now come home again to someone who is there to be by my side and love me where I am that day. He lets me grieve when I need to grieve but it grieves him to see me so sad. He feels so helpless he tells me. I let him know that all I need is for his arms to wrap around me. He is not threatened by my sadness and grieving for Larry. I know that sounds like a no brainer but I am not so sure that I wouldn't be a little jealous or threatened by the memories of a dead wife. All I know is that I love it that I can not feel awkward by it all. Just yesterday I found a medication that was still here of Larry's. I just broke down and he just let me cry. He just feels so bad for me and I appreciate it that he cares so much.

Life is so good for me right now even with a few very sad moments still. I have this wonderful man (Jeff) in my life and he is all I could want in a partner. He wants only the best for me. He loves me unconditionally. What else could a person want in her life? I don't know of anything. Of course I have my children and grandchildren who have never failed me. Jeff even loves them. He thinks my kids and grand kids are amazing. So do I.

So happy anniversary Larry. It would have been a good day today if you were here. I miss you. I will always love you. I miss seeing you with our kids and the fun you had with them. I miss you all teasing and messing with each other. I miss seeing you interact with the grandchildren and I feel robbed of not being able to see you get completely whipped by your first granddaughter. That would have been fun. But for whatever reason I won't get that opportunity, so life goes forward in a different way and we all try to be happy again.

Peace,
Me