I am thinking today about an acquaintance of mine. I met this woman at work. She is a patient at the dental office. She came in to the office about six months ago with her husband and her husband said that she was feeling "blue". She knows about my husband having cancer and so I guess that may have given her some strength to tell me that she might have breast cancer. She broke down in tears as she told me that she was afraid and that she didn't really have anyone to talk to about it. She felt she needed to be strong for her husband etc. Well, I gave her a hug and kept in contact with her. She found out that she didn't have the dreaded "C" after all. There was a great relief.
Now move ahead 2 to 3 months. Her husband is walking up to their home and is having trouble breathing. Something is not right. No symptoms before this at all. He goes to the doctor and he has cancer of the lining of his lung (probably from asbestos). She and her husband fly immediately to California to have a doctor there perform surgery. He has the lining of his lung removed and then radiation and now chemotherapy. I have not been in contact with either of them and have tried to email but to no avail. Yesterday they came into the office. Her husband gave me a hug and she sat very still. I seated her husband for his appointment and went back to the waiting room to talk to her. I asked how she was and she said "okay". Trust me I know what that means. I tried to encourage her some and had to get back to work. She emailed me last night and gave me her new email address. She is all alone in this process with her husband. She has no family. Her kids are her step kids and they aren't helpful. She has one friend of 30 years that she talks to some but she doesn't even talk to her husband much because she wants to be strong for him. She is trying to work on their land where they just built their dream home that is very large with acreage. She said when I asked her how she was she almost started crying but was in control because she thought if she started she wouldn't stop.
My heart aches for her and her husband. How difficult this process of cancer would be for me if I didn't have my children, family and dear friends around to uphold me. I hope I can help her in some way to be strong yet to be honest with all that she is feeling. I do know one thing. She does not have a faith in God. I think that until that happens she will never feel the peace she longs to have for this situation, for the one she thought she was facing and for any other that comes her way. I believe with all my being that without faith in the God that is bigger than all this crap that I/she will succumb to fear, depression and anger. I am not one that believes that there is a reason for everything. Sometimes things happen because we live in a world where death comes to us all. That is a different discussion.
Pray for her, me and our husbands.
Peace,
Val
